We've all read the estate agents particulars aimed to get us to view a house, only to find out that the descriptive words are covering up some horror. We've dedicated this section to the time-honoured tradition of Estate Agent Speak and are building a National Archive for the enjoyment of house hunters.
| What the Estate Agent Said |
What the House Hunter Said |
"..ambient
nightlife" |
"The
house was two doors down from the local pub" |
"Fourth
bedroom / Study" |
"More
suitable as a broom cupboard. A bedroom? Possibly big enough for a cot (if assembled in
the room!)" |
"Easy
maintained gardens" |
"The
garden was so small that investing in a lawnmower would be a waste of money." |
| "…attractive old
building with original features" |
"This
house hadn’t had any renovations since it was built in 1926" |
"Convenient
for local transport links" |
"The
house overlooked the M25" |
"Much
potential" |
"Steer
clear unless you have a lot of money and believe your blind dates really did have nice
personalities" |
"Close to
train station" |
"Everyone
wants to be near the train station, but not when it backs on to your garden" |
"Secluded
location" |
"It was
in the middle-of-nowhere - barren and desolate. Suitable film set for Mad Max 5. |
"Charming" |
"Another
word for tiny. The cottage’s main entrance was five foot high". |
"Close to
local schools" |
"The din
from the playground was deafening" |
"A real
fixer-upper" |
"Tear
down and start again" |
