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Estate Agent Speak
A National Archive

Sell your house direct on HouseWeb
"Much potential", "A real fixer-upper", "One-of-a-kind"...

We've all read the estate agents particulars aimed to get us to view a house, only to find out that the descriptive words are covering up some horror. We've dedicated this section to the time-honoured tradition of Estate Agent Speak and are building a National Archive for the enjoyment of house hunters.

Below are a selection of some of the chestnuts you've sent us. Mail us your favourites.

What the Estate Agent Said What the House Hunter Said

"..ambient nightlife"

"The house was two doors down from the local pub"

"Fourth bedroom / Study"

"More suitable as a broom cupboard. A bedroom? Possibly big enough for a cot (if assembled in the room!)"

"Easy maintained gardens"

"The garden was so small that investing in a lawnmower would be a waste of money."

"…attractive old building with original features"

"This house hadn’t had any renovations since it was built in 1926"

"Convenient for local transport links"

"The house overlooked the M25"

"Much potential"

"Steer clear unless you have a lot of money and believe your blind dates really did have nice personalities"

"Close to train station"

"Everyone wants to be near the train station, but not when it backs on to your garden"

"Secluded location"

"It was in the middle-of-nowhere - barren and desolate. Suitable film set for Mad Max 5.


"Another word for tiny. The cottage’s main entrance was five foot high".

"Close to local schools"

"The din from the playground was deafening"

"A real fixer-upper"

"Tear down and start again"

E-mail us your personal experiences.

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